Finding My Authentic Voice, Part 1: The Journey

Embracing your unique voice for a more authentic writing experience.

This is me, hiking in Colombia. Hiking! Yes, I was tricked into this, and tears and my asthma inhaler were involved. But lookie there, I appear to be pondering. This is definitely giving "I'm on a journey of self-discovery." So, it counts.

Every writer, at some point, has to ask themselves one very important question…What is voice when it comes to writing and how do I find mine? If you’ve been there, you know how it feels—like the unhappy merger of a philosophical debate and an identity meltdown. If you’ve yet to experience this, just wait. It’s coming.

As for me, I’ve always had a distinct way of expressing myself. Absurdist humor, a bit of wit, and the occasional existential spiral has been the hallmark of Katie communication for as long as I can remember. I think, speak, and live life in metaphors, song lyrics, and movie quotes. The problem? Not everyone loves absurdity which means, they don't love the true me. Oh, what to do? What to do?

I used to think my writing voice was something I had to create to be palatable to the masses—like a build-your-own-character feature on social media or in a video game. You know, how you use your best features to create the oh-so-awesome digitalized version of yourself. I mean, as someone who is neuro D and an ENFP personality type, I can flip between pensive and extremely silly, all in the same hour. I never knew what was going to come out of my mouth in life, let along in the form of a character. I wondered, which version of me would people think was the real me? If I’m funny today, does that cancel out my deep thoughts on a topic tomorrow? It was a lot to consider, let alone assign to a character. Obviously, no one expects a human, either real or fictional, to be one dimensional, right? Right??

And for a while, I felt like I needed to tone it down to be taken seriously, even though I didn’t really want to.

“I used to think my writing voice was something I had to create to be palatable to the masses. And for a while, I felt like I needed to tone it down to be taken seriously, even though I didn't really want to.”

But I wasn’t quite sure how to hone in on the multifaceted approach without doing too much. Just the thought of trying to balance all of that made me want to take a nap.

Turns out, that’s the fastest way to lose sight of who you really are. In life and in your writing.

Over the years, I’ve learned a few key lessons about finding (and keeping) my voice, and if you’re on this journey too, maybe these will help.

Lesson # 1: Your Voice Isn't Something You Invent; It's Something You Embrace.

You don’t need to reinvent the wheel to know how it works. A lot of writing advice makes it sound like you need to construct your voice from scratch—like baking a cake with ingredients you’re unfamiliar with. (Someone send me a recipe for Red Velvet, stat!). But your voice isn’t something you create; it’s something you discover and embrace.

Think of it this way--Your writing voice is already there, buried beneath years of unique and personal experiences. If you try to combine that with trying too hard to sound “polished” or “professional” or mimicking whatever bestselling author you admire, you’ll see you've got a perfect recipe for getting stuck. (Sigh, this is my second recipe reference. I must be hungry.) Anyway, try to move beyond that and think of your voice in writing as the same as your voice when you’re having a conversation. he more you write, the more those layers peel away, revealing the real you—the one who writes the way they think, without second-guessing every word.

When it comes to assigning a voice to a character, the best way to do that is to KNOW. YOUR. CHARACTER.

Who are they? What is their age and outlook on life? What are their lived experiences? Personality type? Influences? The voice of your character should be inherently THEM. And the better you get to know them, the easier it will be to represent them in your writing.

For instance, have you ever heard a story about a friend or family member and the story felt off or didn’t sound like something they would say or do? That right there is you understanding them beyond the surface level. It’s no different when representing yourself or a character you create.

Lesson # 2: Your Voice Isn't For Everyone (And That's Okay).

Here’s a hard truth: Not everyone is going to vibe with your voice. And that’s fine. (No really, it’s okay. So, breathe…into a paper bag if you have to.)

I remember reading a review for my Izzy book and the reader commented that the household scenes were too chaotic. Um, I was like 10% offended (30% but who's counting) because that was exactly how zany my household was when all of my children still lived at home. I felt judged, and not in a good way. Because my writing may be fun, but it's still deeply personal to me. After thinking it over, though, I realized that not everyone lives or experiences life like I do. And that’s okay! They are allowed to not vibe with my lifestyle and vice versa. It’s probably for the best, actually. Because how dull would the world be if we were all the same?

So, embrace what makes you unique. If your writing is authentic, it will resonate with the right people—your audience, your readers, the ones who get you. If your voice is quirky, own it. If it’s sharp and serious, embrace it. The more you lean into your natural style, the more engaging your writing will be. Your audience will feel SEEN and that is something everyone can resonate with.

Lesson # 3: Your Voice Will Evolve.

One of the biggest misconceptions about writing voice is that it’s static (as in unchanging, not as in clothes laundered without a dryer sheet). It’s not. The way I write now is not how I wrote ten years ago, and I’d be worried if it was. As you evolve, growth is inevitable, and your writing should grow with you. I mean, I’m still writing books in the voice of an eleven-year-old boy, but we aren’t going to touch on that right now.

No, but, seriously, think of your voice fluctuations as you do your clothing style. When you go into an office or attend a formal meeting, you don't dress the same as you would for a trip to the gym or for a day out with friends. Although you present differently, depending on the situation, it’s still all you. And as you age or learn or grow, those style choices will also evolve. Unless you are like forty and still into wearing Care Bears merchandise. If that’s the case, I apologize for assuming, keep doing you, and please let me know where I can get a shirt in my size.

I jest, but taking it back to voice, you might start with one style and, through experience, experimentation, and sheer trial-and-error, refine it into something even better. The key is to keep writing so your voice has the space to evolve naturally.

What's Next?

So, now that we’ve discovered that we are evolutionary creatures (still talking about voice here so don’t fight about this in the comments), consider taking the time to ponder what your true voice personality really is. Then join me for the next part of this series.

In Part 2, I’ll share 10 actionable tips to help you refine and strengthen your writing voice, whether you are writing fiction or non-fiction. Because while recognizing and embracing your voice is important; learning how to fine tune it is where the real magic happens.

Stay tuned!